First Wife...

We will call her "D" to avoid pointing out the guilty.
D bore me 2 wonderful children (They do have their problems but they are mine and no one can change that.) We were married for 7 years. I am not sure what happened, I know that I was little (OK a LOT) more sexually adventurous than she was and that caused a bit of friction between us. To make a very LOOONG story short, she ended up cheating on me (with my best friend no less!) We tried to work it out but about 1 year after it happened, due to my unhappiness (and a "budget" that I was making for IF we broke up, left on the table, and that she found) she ended up leaving my and taking herself and her kids back to Michigan, where we were both from. To this day, I am sure that when I made that budget, something in my subconscious made me leave it on the table for her to find. Of course there is no proof one way of the other.
I wrote to the kids (who were like 2 and 5 at the time) but never got a response. Thanks to the lovely D, we had agreed to a certain amount of child support when she left. When she filed for divorce in Mich, her lawyer "recommended" twice what we had agreed upon, with a grandfather clause that meant I now owed her some $5,000! Back in 1981, that was HELL of a lot of money for an airman to come up with and pay back! So, because I couldn't pay it back, they issued a bench warrant against me.

Now those of you who are familiar with the armed forces know that being arrested and thrown in jail would pretty much end your career. As a result, I couldn't go back to Mich for any reason for about 1 year, the time it took to pay the money back. By the time I was able to get leave and get back to Mich to see my kids, they were about 1 year and some change months older.  My boy ("R"), the eldest remembered me and knew who I was. My girl ("G") Did not. We had a couple of pleasant outings but at the end of the last one, D kept me outside and told me that there was a new man in her life that they were calling "daddy" and that all my presence was doing was confusing them and making them very unhappy (I found out in my late adult years that neither of these were the case.) D thought it would be best if I just stayed away, don't write and just leave them alone and let them be where they are. Now I have to admit, I was a kid... 26, dumb, ignorant of my rights... anyway I agreed. I did exactly that. I paid my child support and stayed away. I was secure in the knowledge though, that if they really wanted to know their real dad, one day they would look me up

About 4 years ago, I got a call out of no where... I said "Hello", "Is this Don Willson?" "Yes it is, can I help you?", "This is your son R" I almost fainted!!! It actually happened!! We stayed on the phone a long while, catching up and getting to know each other. He, being a trucker, had the opportunity to come down my way and visit!!!  It took a little longer for G to get a hold of me but she finally did and we all have been getting to know each other since!

I have to give kudos to their mother though, she never said a single bad word about me nor did she try to stop them when they wanted to look me up! Kudos D!!!

So, my kids and I are in the process of getting to know each other. R and I have a few interests in common but to be honest, D spoiled him to the point where he can barely handle his private life in a proper and decent manner - always late on bills, negligible personal hygiene, buys a new car when he doesn't need one and doesn't pay on it, etc... She did everything for him and basically gave him everything he ever wanted so now, as an adult, he expects everything he wants to be given to him of to come his way naturally. Now his BUSINESS attitude is WONDERFUL!! He has been promoted very quickly in his chosen field and continues to do his job exceedingly well and has a bright future ahead of him! I do wish he would replace his dentures though... he has no teeth at 40 due to a genetics issue, used his temps for 3 years and broke them. Now he wears nothing and gums all his food (shudder).

My daughter has her issues as well, most caused by D and whats REALLY scary is that she is the one I have the most in common with! We are like two peas in a pod! A good 90% of what she likes, I like as well! It's weird... very weird... but nice as well... It's nice to have someone look up to you, respect you and share things in common with! I just wish I was ther while she was growing up... I would not have ignored her medical issues the way D did, and I think she would have been a lot better off.

But we shall never know...

If any of this doesn't make too much sense, please forgive... Had a LOT to say and tried VERY hard to put all the important arts in without turning the entry into a VERY LOOOONG book! LOL